Wedding Officiant etiquette
I’ve been having a lot of fun on instagram with my pictures of wedding officiants who did not get out of the way of the FIRST KISS PHOTO OP.
For heavens sakes folks. What's the first rule they teach you? Get out of the way of the photographer shooting the first kiss after you pronounce the couple married. Dash, run, hop, do whatever it takes but get out of the photo. No one wants a head or a body or whatever standing behind their first kiss.
So what are some of the other mistakes that officiants make?
Ceremony timing off. Rehearse it. Get the length of the vows and add in the processional and recessional. Don't forget if there is a unity ceremony to add that in. Ask if anyone wants to make a blessing or say something during the ceremony. Make it punchy and tight but not so short that it seems jammed.
Ceremony not unique. Come on man. Ask questions, listen, take an interest in the couple in front of you. They paid you for your services. Make sure you give them what they want and that you say it with conviction.
Ceremony too quiet, Check out the venue ahead of time, ascertain the number of guests and test the sound quality to see if everyone can hear. IF THEY CANNOT, then invest in a microphone and project your voice. Take acting lessons, take voice lessons. But don't let your clients down.
Cell phones ringing Make an announcement before you begin the ceremony. Say that at the request of the couple, cell phones are banned. You cannot be fully present in the ceremony when you are filming something with your camera.
Couple are nervous And you cannot find a way to calm the stage fright. Ask them what they did the night before, did they eat today, anything that manifests in laughter between the couple. Keep it candid, but keep them relaxed.
Forgetting to ask guests to take their seats. Yes this is your responsibility. Generally until the actual reception time, the officiant is like the Master of Ceremonies. Control the crowd, get them on your side so they hear what you are saying.
Not rehearsing the ceremony. The officiant should do a rehearsal of the ceremony with all who will participate to get everyone acquainted with the run of show. Showing up without some idea of how, what and where, can be a surprise for everyone and easily avoided.
Make sure the couple are looking at one another. Don't have the couple look at you. This is not your big day. Sure you are responsible for making the ceremony stunning, but that does not include having the couple focus their attention on you. The intimacy is between the couple please insist on it.
Don't be an expert. You are writing a ceremony not a PHD. You don't need to prove your theories. Its a wedding ceremony. Be light hearted and sincere. Do not speak in a patronizing way. Its about their love not how you think they should live their lives.
If you wedding officiant does any of the above or something else inappropriate, you should have a serious chat about it. Wedding officiants can make or break a wedding ceremony. Make sure yours is a professional. Call me for a consultation.